


Two Sides Of The Same Coin

by Kittyreaper



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A sex crazy asshole but an asshole none the less, Airplanes suck in this fanfiction, Also Kankri is an asshole in a sweater for a while, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Bad Puns, But damn I seriously need to stop writing at 5 am I'm tierd as fuck, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Eh HELL if I know, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Kankri is an Incubus, M/M, Might grow a plot?, Now that I think about it I probably just gave Kankri a blood sucking kink, Oh and also some of the unintroduced characters actually matter now so yay!, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Smut, Yay it grew a plot that will come in chapter 3!, lol, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 21:44:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2125698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittyreaper/pseuds/Kittyreaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This may or may not become a story, but for now it's a one-shot about Cronus being a vampire with an incubus roommate Kankri who hasn't fed in a month.<br/>Shenanigans ensue.<br/>All of the shenanigans.</p>
<p>POTENTIALLY TO BE REWRITTEN, BUT DEFINITELY NOT TO BE CONTINUED AS IS</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Possible Story But For Now It's A One-Shot Smut Fic

I slammed the door shut behind me, inserting and twisting my key into the lock, all while bringing a lighter to the cigarette balanced in between my lips. Thank the Underworld for multi-tasking. I then turned to face the rest of my apartment, placing the lighter back into my leather jacket’s pocket.  
I lived in a small apartment, there only being four rooms. Said rooms were a kitchen, living room, bathroom, and one bedroom. Unfortunately, despite the fact that my father was the undead owner of a very large, successful, and wealthy weapon supplier, I literally had to survive on the bare minerals. It all had to due with my father being a huge asshole that wouldn’t let me follow my dreams and study to become a musician, then I gave up being heir to the family business to my little brother, Eridan, so father got seriously pissed off and wouldn’t pay for anything other than the plane ticket to NYC, and it’s a very long and complicated story for another time. In fact, I’m certain that that Aranea-chick could tell you all about it!  
Wait, she was the one who liked blabbing people’s heads off, right?  
Or was that Meulin?  
Anyways, so I’d just gotten home from the black market … (again, a story to ask Aranea/Meulin about. Meenah? Wait, no, Meenah’s that slamming siren babe that’s always hitting on me!)  
And the house was empty.  
“Oh shit.” I nearly dropped the cigarette hanging from my bottom lip, running through the living room to the bedroom I had to share with my roommate, praying to Satan himself that he hadn’t gone out and set things on fire again.  
I burst into the bedroom, only to find it empty as well. “FUCK!” I cried out, my eyes widening with the shear terror of what that psychopath could’ve done if triggered.  
In a last futile attempt at finding him, I left the bedroom, going into the kitchen from the living room, only to find yet another empty room. I seriously felt like I was about to cry, because everyone within a ten-mile radius was probably doomed.  
I heard a rustling noise. My pointed ears perked up.  
'Vwait; that sounded like bed sheets being mowved… and I’m the only one vwho could’wve gone through the front door… and the only other person vwith a key is…'  
I stopped there, rushing back into the bedroom to find none other than my roommate lying upon the bed.  
“God dammit, Kankri, vwhere the fuck vwere you?!” I sighed with relief, tiredly glaring daggers at the incubus now sitting on the edge of the bed, one leg over the other, exposing his pitch black, knee-high, high-heeled boots.  
Already looking at him, I only then realized what he was wearing.  
“Kankri, vwhat the fuck are you vwearing?”  
“What, do you mean my new sweater?” Indeed, that cocky son of a bitch was wearing a new sweater. A red sweater. One could even say a blood red sweater. “Porrim made it for me, so I turned her down because she’s not my mother and therefore needs to stop acting like it, but the poor girl worked very hard in her free time to make me this, so I wore it anyways so as not to trigger her.”  
That asshole. He probably wore it willingly but acted the part so he would have a good alibi. I am so going to fucking murder him one of these days.  
“Cronus? Are you alright?” When I finally started paying attention again, the red-clad demon spawn stood right before me, less than a foot away from my face. Well, sort of. I mean, he is like a whole head shorter than me.  
It was a common enough question to be brought up whenever I droned out while he was ranting on, but the look Kankri was giving me was anything but concerned. If anything, he was giving the ‘I-haven’t-fed-in-only-hell-knows-how-long-so-tonight-I’m-going-to-fuck-you-senseless’ look.  
“Kankri, vwhen vwas the last time you fed?” I asked bluntly, my expression dead-panned.  
“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Cronus, you should really tag your trigger warnings before asking something like that.” Kankri smirked at me, revealing the top row of his pointed teeth, arms moving to cross over his chest. “Someone could be severely triggered if you keep that up.”  
“Seriously though, vwhen vwas the last time you fucked someone?”  
The smirked fell right off of Kankri’s face, probably upset I cussed without warning him. “To answer your question, despite your knack for refusing to tag your trigger warnings, I’d say about a month.”  
“A vwhole month?!” My violet eyes widened at the probably starving incubus before me.  
“Yes.”  
“You’re sure you hawven’t fed in an entire month?”  
“Yes, I’m certain of it.” He rolled his bright red eyes at me.  
After that, I just sort of stood there in the middle of our shared bedroom, mouth agape, staring wide-eyed at my roommate, looking like an idiot for a while.  
“Like the color?” Kankri said to snap me out of my stupor (Hey, that kind of sounds like Sopor; I wonder if that’s where the Makaras got it from?). I blinked and closed my fanged mouth, realizing that at some point my gaze had trained down to be staring at Kankri’s new sweater.  
“Oh fuck you, Vwantas.” I glared at him once more, growing irritated and sick of the stupid sweater.  
“It’d be my pleasure.” The demonic creature of hell said before forcing his lips onto my own, his hands coming up to hold my face to his own.  
I tried to push Kankri away at first, still mad at him about the sweater, but once he started sucking on my bottom lip, melted into the kiss, using my grip on the object of my hatred to pull him closer towards me. I moaned as he then began to suck on my tongue, pulling it out of my mouth. However, I soon made a noise resembling some sort of whine as I felt Kankri’s warm hands and mouth leave me, opening my eyes. My mind hazed-over, I allowed the incubus to lead me towards the bed, climbing to be above me, on his hands and knees, once I was on the shitty mattress.  
At my height, due to the fact that we were on a bed, along with him being in a crawling position, Kankri now had much better access to my mouth, immediately taking advantage of it, his tongue sliding right passed my willing lips.  
I’m still not really sure how it came to this, but the next thing I knew, Kankri and I were both naked, grinding against each other like two animals in heat or something.  
Ugh, goddamn incubus powers.  
Opening my eyes, I looked up to see Kankri, a thin layer of sweat already forming to make his skin shine in the cheap lighting of the apartment, his pitch black hair a total train wreck, stereotypical small wings and long tail brought out in the fit of passion, bright red eyes glimmering, head tilted back in pure ecstasy as he sat on my lap, rutting his dick against my own, exposing his porcelain pale… flawless… succulent…  
I failed to resist the temptation, mentally flipping off whoever told me to attempt such a thing in the first place, pulling Kankri down by his shoulders to bite into the left side of his neck, my fangs completely extended, and now closed, bright violet eyes glowing with the expected light of my feedings. Of course, my razor-sharp canines slipped easily into my roommate’s neck, his warm, sweet blood flowing into my mouth.  
Still literally sucking the life out of the only person who’ll help me pay my rent, Kankri keened in my grip, my super strength probably causing his skin to begin bruising. Once I’d felt that my urge was satisfied at least for now, I released my victim, his blood dribbling down my chin. Kankri’s vibrant red eyes then half-closed, his tongue darting out to lick his upper lip, before I was flipped over, my wrists forced against the headboard with one of the incubus’ hands, the lubricated finger of his other meanwhile being shoved up my ass.  
(When and where he got lube from while I was sucking his blood is yet another thing to add to the mental list of everything I still don’t understand about my hell of a roommate, and you know what? I think I’m actually going to make that a thing. Yeah, from now on I’m keeping a list of everything I still don’t understand about, pertaining to, or having to do with Kankri Vantas.)  
Once the digit had been pushed in to the knuckle, Kankri then began pumping in and out of my entrance, the pain eventually giving way to pleasure, enticing loud moans from my mouth that were only muffled by my face at some point being shoved into a pillow.  
After a while, he then added a second finger, alternating between pumping and scissoring them. Kankri then pulled both fingers out, causing me to groan at the emptiness, before forcing his well-lubricated dick into my entrance, the two of us moaning loudly once more at the sensation. Impatient, he then began thrusting in and out, not caring enough to give me time to adjust. However, I did within a little bit stretch to his size, the pain being replaced with pleasure quickly enough, especially when Kankri hit against my walls at a specific angle that made me shudder in pleasure.  
Greatly to my disdain, he then slowed to an abrupt halt, leaning forward to whisper in my ear.  
“Do you want me to continue?” Kankri taunted, probably feeling kinky and horny on so many levels having procrastinated feeding for the past month.  
Not trusting myself to make proper words flow from my mouth, I nodded my head vigorously into the pillow it was still shoved into, whimpering audibly.  
“Cronus, what have I told you? You need to use your big boy words.” He chuckled darkly.  
“P-please.” I whimpered out, having removed my face from the pillow.  
“Please what? Be more specific.”  
“P-please just fuck me already!” I complained, sounding like a five year old who just wanted a cookie before dinner.  
“Language.” Kankri growled lustfully, smacking the back of my shoulder roughly with his free hand.  
“Alright, alright! Just please move already; I’m beggin’ ya!” I whined.  
The incubus panted, flipping me over to lay on my back without releasing my hands, pressing his chest flush against my own, his head in the left crook of my neck, the other hand forcing me against him by the shoulder.  
“Bite me.” He said forcefully, his grip tightening on my wrists and shoulder.  
I readily obliged, sinking my fangs into the side of his neck I hadn’t bitten previously, sucking his bodily fluids out as Kankri moaned before finally started thrusting into me once more, the hand that was restraining his shoulder going down to grab at my dick, pumping me.  
It wasn’t long after that when I came, my genetic material coating mine and Kankri’s chests, the incubus following shortly afterwards, filling me, then pulling out to lay next to me on the bed as we passed out, laying on our sides and holding each other close.

The next day, I woke up to find the place next to me on the bed incubus-free.  
“Cronus, you’re awake.” Sitting up, I saw Kankri, standing in the doorway, a sandwich in hand, fully-dressed in his usual, black jeans and combat boots, but still wearing that fucking sweater. “In light of yesterday’s events, I have left a clean change of clothing of yours at the foot of the bed,” I looked to see that there really was one of my white t-shirts, a pair of black jeans, and violet boxers laid out neatly where Kankri said, “and speaking of yesterday, I would greatly appreciate it if you could accept my sincerest apologies.”  
“Yeah, sure thing, chief.” I looked back to my roommate, shrugging casually.  
“No, you don’t understand; I fed from you without your consent, so therefore I must apologize. I understand that some have personal space triggers, while you do not, and yes you do tend to make comments a little bit more on the obscene side, but that still didn’t mean it was alright for me to feed from you without asking you prior to doing so if you were alright with it and making sure it didn’t trigger you in any way, shape, or form.” He droned on, the Kankri who wasn’t a starving incubus returning quickly.  
“Oh dear, I forgot to tag all trigger warnings. After all, it’s best to be safe and over-prepared seeing as I don’t know all of your triggers. However, due to the fact that it’s completely unnecessary, I won’t tag anything I know doesn’t trigger you.” And this was the part where I stopped listening all together, getting up and changing into the clothes set out for me instead.  
“C-Cronus, you know that I find when you get changed in front of me highly triggering! You really need to be more mindful of that!” Kankri exploded, then continuing to rant on, and on, and on about his triggers and why I need to start tagging trigger warnings before even breathing, because it might trigger someone.  
Thankfully though, I quickly finished changing, walking out the bedroom door and making my way to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich as well.  
Unfortunately, Kankri’s whole ‘I’m-too-much-of-a-tightass-to-feed-of-my-own-accord-so-I’m-just-going-to-wait-until-like-a-month-before-having-sex-with-you-because-incubus-powers-then-the-next-day-start-rambling-on-and-on-and-on-about-the-importance-of-consent-like-a-total-hypocrite-despite-the-fact-that-I-brought-this-upon-myself’ thing was way too normal for us.  
Ugh, what the fuck has my life become?


	2. The Past Three Years In A Metaphorical Nutshell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much all you need to know so far & just me catching everyone up to date on what the fuck has already happened & not be explained again.  
> Also, YAY I DECIDED TO CONTINUE THIS OUT OF EXTREME BOREDOM & LACK OF ARMS TO DRAW ON! X3  
> Yes, I do in fact draw on people's arms with highlighter, marker, & sharpie (it seriously does come out eventually & I only use it for base sketches anyways so whatever =P) when I'm bored.  
> & for my final note I would seriously appreciate it if someone would comment telling me a title idea because I have no clue what to call this train wreck of a fanfiction. OnO  
> ANY & ALL COMMENTS ARE WELCOME THOUGH NOT JUST TITLE IDEAS! =3

Alright, the last chapter really didn’t explain anything. Of course, it mentioned some important details of my life story, but only mentioned. It didn’t actually go into much detail, and because of that this next chapter is to actually explain shit. First, the basics.  
My name is Cronus Ampora. I’m nineteen years old, and it’s been about three years since my father, Crecil ‘Dualscar’ Ampora the second, the current CEO of Dualscar Weaponry Enterprises, kicked me out because I legally gave the title of ‘Heir To The Three Hundred Year Old Family Business’ to my little brother, Eridan.  
Oh, and shouldn’t I mention that I come from an ancient line of vampires? Yeah, I probably should.  
Well, I come from an ancient line of vampires all the way back to my great grandpa, Radian Ampora, who was a successful pirate, rivaled only by some Serket chick, during the twelve hundreds. How is he my great grandpa when he lived so long ago, you may ask? That would be because the average vampire life span is about three hundred years. And no, my father was not the one to first start up the family business; that would be my grandpa, Crecil Ampora. The First, I mean. Why he thought it was a brilliant idea to name his kid after him, I will never understand.  
Anyways, I suppose I should also go into a little more detail about my family and such instead of my ancestry. Who would want to listen to me ramble on about a bunch of dead guys? Well, maybe Aranea, but she doesn’t count!  
My childhood in southern Florida was pretty good, despite the fact that I didn’t have my mother around, seeing as she died in a car accident when I was three and Eridan wasn’t even a year old. Dad was pretty nice for my younger years, although he was admittedly quite the over-bearing parent. To both me and my little brother, he was supportive, kind-hearted, and encouraged us to hold our heads high and do our best even if our asshole peers were against it. It was only when I hit my teenage years that it’d gotten bad.  
As I grew older, I developed a strong passion for music. I might as well have died if I couldn’t continue playing guitar and singing! Meanwhile, Eridan grew to love business, finance, and playing corporate take-over simulations. Seriously, that kid found an online simulation where he could practice monopolizing an industry, finding legal loop-holes to escape any charges thrown his way, and run his competition straight into the ground. And he was fucking good at it!  
So obviously, when father said he was choosing an heir to the family business we all knew it was going to be Eridan, right? Well, apparently wrong, because for whatever reason, father got the idea shoved into his thick skull that I was born first and therefore should be heir to the company. As soon as he announced that at the company banquette, Eridan and I literally got up from our seats and stormed right out the front door. The rest of the night was spent with the two of us sitting in the middle of the nearby woods, drinking champagne straight out of the bottle. We were so pissed off at him that we even spent the night there, not coming home until we got hungry the next day and didn’t have any money on either of us to go buy food and hang-over remedies.  
As soon as I was clear-headed once more and had made sure that Eridan, who’d locked himself up in his room and refused to speak to anyone besides myself, was alright, I went to my father’s secretary, a werewolf by the name of Rufius Nitram, and had him legally change the document stating I was heir to Dualscar Weaponry Enterprises so that Eridan was instead. Of course, once dad found out, he was not happy. The two of us spent what felt like five hours senselessly arguing over it, of which resulted in father telling me I had a week to take my stuff and leave. So, a week later father drove me to the airport, having confiscated my motorcycle, leaving me there to get on the airplane he’d gotten me a ticket for to New York state, only letting me keep a couple suitcases of clothes, my guitar, and whatever money was left in my wallet.  
The plane ride was pretty damn miserable, stuck in front of an obnoxious as fuck little kid who thought it be just hilarious to kick my seat for the entire five hour flight, and behind some guy who just up and decided to sleep through the whole thing with the back of his seat literally in my lap, but I suppose it was all worth it when the little kid’s balloon popped on the plane, and the guy hit his head on the door frame of the exit on the way out.  
The flight had led me to Buffalo, New York, but after a couple weeks in some shitty motel, I quickly left, catching a bus to NYC with the money I’d saved up from temporarily working at a local café in town. Once there, I then spent roughly a month in yet another shitty motel before earning enough money from working at a night club as a server to move into the apartment I currently lived in.  
Though of course, from the start I knew I couldn’t afford the rent alone, so I immediately sent out an add online for a roommate, certain the two of us could just take turns sleeping on the couch and bed. It took about a week, but soon my inbox was being completely bombarded with e-mail responses to the advertisement. And thus began the tedious process of looking through every e-mail I had to hopefully find someone tolerable enough to share an apartment with.  
Obviously, none of them were.  
They were either total sluts sending me pictures of them half-naked in an attempt to seduce me into letting them move in, seriously boring with lack of personality, or just plain annoying as fuck. Not a single one was someone I knew I’d be able to stand living with. Not a single one.  
And then came the night it changed.  
But it was far less over-dramatic than that.  
One night, roughly three months or so after I’d first been kicked out of my dad’s place, it was storming like shit outside. Yup, it was a ‘dark, and stormy night’ just like all those dumbass stereotypical ‘nights when things happen’.  
I was sitting in my living room, playing some random tune on the guitar mostly out of boredom, when I heard a quiet knock at the door. Wondering who the fuck would come over at eleven ‘o clock at night, I gently placed my guitar to be propped up against the couch, getting up to answer the door. Greatly to my surprise, I opened the door to find a boy about my age, a whole head shorter than me, holding a pitch black umbrella.  
He had short, straight, and messy, pitch black hair that went only down to his chin, framing his face perfectly, porcelain pale skin that almost looked as if it belonged on a recently-passed corpse because it was just that impossibly light, and startlingly bright red eyes behind long, black eyelashes. He wore a plain, black, slightly over-sized t-shirt with the bright red symbol for the zodiac sign of Cancer in the middle of it to match his eyes, a pair of black skinny jeans, and black, combat boots, all matching his umbrella, yet not even close enough to being as dark as his hair, looking more like a dark gray compared to hue of monochrome.  
“Oh, um, I’m here to see the apartment offered in the add I saw online?” He asked, his voice light and slightly nasally with absolutely flawless diction, the phrase coming out more as a question than a statement.  
“I mean, it’s not as if I meant to trigger you in any sort of way, shape, or form if showing up without notice did so. I read the add while on a computer belonging to the local library, and I find it incredibly rude to seemingly pointlessly log on to your e-mail while on someone else’s computer without their permission to due so, and Rose was in another room, and it’s highly triggering to yell for someone while in a library, but I still wanted to check out the apartment to make sure it was suitable for living in before I hastily accepted the offer, so I thought I would come over and see it for myself. However, I hope you accept my deepest apologies if coming unannounced to your apartment triggered you in any way, shape, or form, but you really should tell people this kind of stuff before sending out an add like that.”  
He then paused for a moment, his eyes darting to look up in thought, before giving out an alarmed gasp. “Oh dear, I forgot to tag my trigger warnings!”  
“Wvoah, wvoah, wvoah, don’t you think you should come in first before going off on another rant?” I said quickly, gesturing to the inside of the apartment.  
“Oh yes, I suppose you’re right…” He said, entering the living room while closing up his umbrella. “Wait, did you just say a ‘rant’? I’ll have you know that-“  
“No offense kid, but are you just going to continue on and on and on about social justice or vwhatevwer all night, or are vwe going to discuss the apartment?” I asked, seating myself on the couch, moving my guitar to the side.  
“Yes, good point.” He sighed, sitting down on my right.  
The two of us talked for the good part of an hour, and it looked pretty promising despite the bit about him not knowing what ‘shut the fuck up’ means. It turned out that his name was Kankri Vantas, and like me he came from a wealthy family, but was kicked out of his dad’s house at age sixteen, eventually deciding to move to New York city to start anew. In fact, it was kind of scary how similar we were in past. Both of us had a brother three years younger than us, an over-bearing father that expected us to be exactly like them, and we were both moved out of our homes for wanting to be our own persons.  
“Alright, so you mowve in tomorrowv?” I asked, standing up and stretching.  
“If that is okay with you, then yes.” Kankri replied, yet chewed his bottom lip, eyebrows furrowed, and bright red orbs down-cast in thought. “However, I think you should know something very important about me if we are to live together.”  
“Alright, shoot.”  
“I’m an incubus.” He said bluntly, red eyes meeting my violet ones, looking for a response, positive or negative.  
“Okay, those are sex demons, right?” I asked, looking up and holding my chin with one hand in thought.  
“My apologies if this triggers you in any way, shape, or form, but you’re reacting so casually to this that I can’t help but wonder why?” Kankri’s eyes widened, mouth slightly hanging agape.  
“Yeah, vwell, I am a vwampire, so…” I shrugged. “You’re still mowving in tomorrowv?”  
“Oh, y-yes, of course.” He stuttered, still shocked at my reaction, gathering his umbrella and heading towards the door. “If you don’t mind, I’ll be leaving now, seeing as it’s already so late.”  
“Alright, see you then.” I said just before Kankri left, shutting the door a little bit louder than necessary.  
The next day, he moved in as agreed, bringing over a couple of suitcases with his clothes along with a few books.  
'Vwowv, I guess his dad was just as harsh as mine, if not more so', I thought, bringing in one of the two suitcases that carried his clothes. 'I mean, I least he let me keep my guitar; Vwantas doesn’t havwe anything other than his clothes and some dusty, old books.'  
After that, a couple of years passed, the two of us celebrated the holidays and our birthdays together, neither one hearing from our families. At some point, I quit my shitty job at that night club and started performing songs at some lounge for supernaturals. As it turns out, there was a whole other world (To be honest, it was really more like a secret society with no secrets) out there of supernaturals such as myself and Kankri, a world that as time passed I became more and more affiliated with. In fact, a lot of people I never would have expected to be supernaturals were just that.  
Aranea Serket, the twenty-three year old history teacher of the public middle school, and her seventeen year old sister, Vriska, were descendants of Arachnid, the original spider. Meenah Peixies, the nineteen year old owner of the lounge I played at (And my ex-girlfriend who broke up with me, but obviously I’m still not over her), was a siren while her sixteen year old sister, Feferi, was a mermaid. The Leijons, seventeen year old Meulin who worked at the pet store, and her fifteen year old sister, Nepeta, who was too young to work, but would always hang around the cat section of the store, were werecats (People who could turn into cats). The Makaras, twenty-one year old Kurloz who owned a secret, underground, drug and potion-selling store randomly disguised as a store selling megaphones, and his seventeen year old brother, Gamzee, were descendants of the boogieman. The Maryams, twenty year old Porrim who owned an extremely high-end clothing store in the heart of town, and Kanaya, her sixteen year old cousin who worked there part-time, were fellow vampires. That’s almost everyone I know!  
(Though of course, when meeting everyone, Kankri and I didn’t tell them our last names so they wouldn’t judge us by our parents.)  
As time went by, Kankri and I grew exceptionally close, even to the point of allowing the red-eyed incubus to feed off of me when he would starve himself (Kankri has serious priority issues, because he hates the idea of feeding off of someone without their consent, but seriously needs to start feeding ever other week like normal incubi), and him allowing me to drink his blood if I had no other options.  
On multiple occasions, I attempted to figure out in my head what exactly our relationship was, but every time I could only come with one conclusion; this is the best friendly rivalry with benefits in the history of the Under realm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any mistakes please be patient with me I only write creatively from like midnight to five thirty in the morning. OnO  
> & seriously I love comments & any tips or pointers you can give me to improve my writing are more than welcome. =3


	3. Married?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 3 I WILL BE ATTEMPTING TO POST AT LEAST DAILY! X3  
> Also, YAY KITKAT'S HERE NOW! =3  
> Today you get the special treat of two chapters & Kitkat screeching his brains out. =3  
> Also some Devil!SignlessXBoogieman!GHB for you. =3

The day after the whole incident with Kankri being a starving incubus who hadn’t fed in a month, I came home to something completely and totally unexpected. In my living room, arguing loudly with my roommate, was a very loud, angry, albino daemon in his true form.  
He was short, a couple of feet shorter than Kankri, the shortest nineteen year old I knew, with dark gray skin, bright red eyes identical to the incubus’, but with black sclera, a fluffy mess of snow white hair atop his head that if I didn’t know better could have been an animal, because it was just so fluffy, razor-sharp teeth, pitch black claws, and a pitch black energy about him. Yup, definitely a daemon. A more corrupt daemon, but a daemon none the less.  
Looking to my roommate, I saw that he too was in his true form. Kankri now had pointed ears all too similar to my own, teeth that were clearly not dull, but not sharp enough to cut too deeply if he was to bite someone with those things, and two small, nubby horns the color of candy corn on top of his pitch black hair. Small bat wings the same color as his hair were upon his center-back, followed by a long, bright red tail with what looked like an upside-down heart at the end.  
Feeling left out of the ‘Let’s-all-go-into-our-true-forms’ boat, I then slipped into my own. My greased back, pitch black hair then seemed to become twenty shades darker as my Mediterranean-tan skin took on a slight, violet tint, my bright violet eyes becoming a world less dim, my ears coming to a sharp point, and my fangs slipping out to make my top canines much more deadly than their previously blunt ends.  
“Oh, Cronus, you’re home.” Kankri stated, finally noticing my presence.  
“Kankri, who the ever-loving fuck is this?!” The other snarled at him, his voice slightly high-pitched, and really more of a comprehendible growl than anything else.  
“How about we all please sit down to a cup of tea before you go off chewing me out again, Karkat?” The incubus glared at the daemon, who I now knew as Karkat, his eyes flashing dangerously.  
“Alright, fine.” Karkat mutter angrily, heading off towards the kitchen. “I’ll go get the fucking tea then.”  
“Thank you, brother.” Kankri called as the other continued grumbling incoherent curses under his breath.  
A short while later, Kankri, Karkat, and I were all sitting on the couch in the living room, myself in between the two so as to prevent them from strangling each other to death, the three of us drinking chamomile tea with a dash of honey in it.  
“So, he’s your brother?” I asked Kankri, who was sitting to my right, referring to the naturally pissed-off daemon to my left.  
“Yes, he is.” My roommate responded, taking a sip of his tea afterwards.  
“And he is sitting right here you know!” Karkat snapped from beside me, glaring daggers at the older Vantas.  
“Yes, I realize that, younger brother. Now will you please allow me to explain to my roommate here what actually happened between father and me?”  
“Fine, but you better not start off on another one of your rants about social equality or some other boring shit like that again.” The daemon rolled his eyes, frowning sharply.  
“Of course, after all that would be rude of me when social justice, although a very important thing, is clearly not the topic, so therefore it could be very triggering to some, and- oh wait I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” He began rambling again before promptly stopping himself. “Anyways, that’s not the point.  
“You see, Karkat and I are the two only sons of the fallen angel, Lucifer.” Kankri stated bluntly, looking to me for a response.  
“Vwowv, seriously? Huh, vwell I guess I should’vwe seen that coming seeing as you two are a corrupted daemon and an incubus…” I replied, my eyes slightly widening.  
“Well, when Karkat and I first slowed down in the aging process, father immediately put us to work impregnating unsuspecting women so as to keep the Under realm population stable. Back then, I used to smoke and would feed every other week, but as soon as we lost need to have sex with random women off the street, I realized I didn’t like what we were doing at all. It really put things in perspective for me. I thought about it, and developed morals, standards. I didn’t want to just go around using people for my own personal gain like that anymore. However, father didn’t take too kindly to me giving up smoking and only feeding once absolutely necessary. At some point, three years ago to be exact, the two of us got into a heated argument, of which resulted in him kicking me out of the Under realm to fend for myself.” He finished.  
“Yeah, but that was three years ago! Father’s been thinking a lot, and he wants you home! Actually, he decided he wanted you to come back to the Under realm two years after you left, but it literally took me a whole fucking year to find you because you are way too good at covering your tracks. After thinking it over, father realized that he was being a fucking hypocrite, because he kicked you out of the Under realm for having different ideals, which is the same reason he got kicked out of the Over realm, and he hates the Pyropes for that-“  
“Wvoah, wvoah vwait a second; there are more than tvwo realms?!” I interrupted Karkat’s rant in confusion.  
“Yeah, everybody knows that you-“  
“Karkat, please watch your language! You could trigger someone!” Kankri cut in, causing the daemon to seethe with anger from being interrupted twice now. “And besides, Cronus grew up in a very different environment than most supernaturals; his father was very over-protective and never told him anything about how the other supernaturals lived their lives. So, if Cronus doesn’t know something, you really shouldn’t patronize him for something that wasn’t even within his control.”  
“Whatever.” Karkat mumbled, clearly irritated.  
“Anyways, so yes there are more than two realms; there are three. The Under, Middle, Water, and Over realms. The Under realm is hell, Middle is Earth, Over is heaven, and Water is all of Earth’s oceans, lakes, and rivers. Each of the four realms has some one, or few, in charge. The Under realm is ruled by the Demonic Alliance, representatives of which being myself, Karkat, and our father, however father is the one mainly in charge, the Over is ruled by the Pyrope family, Water by the Peixies, and Middle by the Amporas. To be more specific-“  
“The Amporas?!?! And I newver knevw this?!?!” I turned to Kankri, nearly dropping my cup of tea. (You forgot about the tea, didn’t you?)  
“Oh dear, I should’ve suspected your father never told you this.” Kankri’s face paled impossibly more. “I mean, I knew your father was incredibly over-protective, but I didn’t think that would be to the extent of not telling you your own family’s true amount of political power.”  
“Wait, what?” Karkat questioned, joining in once again.  
“Cronus is an Ampora.” The incubus explained to his brother. “An Ampora who might as well have been exiled and disowned, but an Ampora none the less.”  
“Seriously? And your dad never told you about your place among other supernaturals?!”  
“Apparently dad newver told me a lot of stuff.”  
“And speaking of over-protective fathers, you have to come back at least for a little while, Kankri!”  
“No, I do not. I refuse to speak to that asshole again.”  
“Kankri, do you know how hard it was to find you?! I literally asked everyone I knew in the entire country if they’d seen you! I even stooped low enough to ask Strider if you were anywhere near Texas! FUCKING. STRIDER. It was actually Lalonde that told me were you were though, because she’d apparently seen you in the local library a few times. I hope you’re fuck happy, because apparently that as all for nothing, and I just wasted the past year of my life tracking you down, you obnoxious fuckass.” And there’s the family resemblance.  
“Karkat, I deeply apologize for all of your wasted effort, but I’m not coming home, and that’s final.” Kankri huffed, turning away from his little brother.  
“Fine then, if you’re not coming to make up with father, then at the very least come to his wedding.”  
“Wait, FATHER’S GETTING MARRIED?!?!” The incubus exclaimed, causing practically the whole planet to shake, birds flying all over the place.  
“Yes, he’s been hate-dating for the past two years or so and they decided to take it to the next level.”  
“I’m confused again; vwhy vwould you marry someone if you hate them?!” I looked from brother to brother, from Kankri’s shocked and slightly horrified expression to Karkat’s greatly irritated one.  
“In the Under realm, sometimes people get into this weird-ass relationship when they hate each other but have sex anyways. The best way to describe it would pretty much be mortal enemies with benefits.” The daemon explained, glancing briefly in my direction.  
“Who’s he even marrying anyways?!?!” Kankri questioned, probably having completely ignored the exchange between his brother and I.  
“Gramfr Makara, descendant of the boogieman. Those two fucking hate each other’s guts.”  
“Makara? As in related to Kurloz and Gamzee who sell Sopor Slime for a living?” I asked, connecting the dots.  
“GAMZEE’S BEEN GOING AROUND SELLING SOPOR SLIME?!?!” Karkat exploded, yelling almost as loud as Kankri did when he first reacted to their dad getting married, but still noticeably quieter.  
“You knowv him?”  
“Yes, Karkat and Gamzee have a blood pact; the two of them exchanged blood so now anything Gamzee does is Karkat’s responsibility and vice-versa.” Kankri answered.  
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WHY WOULD HE EVEN REMOTELY GET THE IDEA INTO HIS THINK-PAN THAT IT WAS ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY BRILLIANT TO GO AND SELL DRUGS WITH HIS ‘SKELETON BRO’ TO UNSUSPECTING PEOPLE?!?! I SWEAR, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM, I AM GOING TO BEAT HIS SORRY CLOWN ASS SO HARD THAT HE WON’T BE ABLE TO WALK FOR AN ENTIRE FUCKING DECADE!!!!” At that point, Kankri swiftly covered my ears with his hands just as Karkat proceeded to screech as loud as he possibly could for as long as he possibly could.  
That kid could screech for so long that at some point I just ended up becoming completely numb in my left ear, my eyes shut tightly in some fatal attempt at tuning out the noise. I only opened my eyes once Kankri had removed his hands from my ears, his little brother having finally stopped with his horrid banshee screeching.  
“Now, brother, shall we continue with the original topic?” The incubus asked, raising an eyebrow at the younger of the two.  
“Of course.” Karkat said in between heavily panting for air.  
“In that case, I suppose that I should come to father’s wedding after all, but mainly because he’s hate-marrying the father of a couple friends of me and Cronus.” Kankri then gave a way a maniacal grin so evil it could’ve made puppies cry. “However, that would of course mean that Cronus would have to come too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is the shortest chapter yet please bear with me I needed filler that also served as part 2 of the introductory chapters that should be done with chapter. =P


	4. Thank You For Flying Terminal Airlines; Baggage Claim Is To Your Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here, have some airplane shenanigans & little bit of Cronkri fluff at the end! X3  
> Also, KURLOZ/MEULIN IS NOW A CANON SHIP IN THIS FANFICTION SO YAYSIES!!!! =3

On June fifteenth, a very strange group of people sat in the section of the airport where passengers could sit and wait to board their plane, specifically a flight directly to Rome, Italy, so they could go down a fuck-ton of stairs, then continue on to attend a traditional wedding in hell. This group was of Karkat sitting at the very rightmost end of the row, then went in order going to left, Gamzee, myself, Kankri, Porrim, Kurloz, his girlfriend, Meulin, who was to meet pops Makara for the first time, and her little sister, Nepeta, because wherever one of the Leijon sisters went, the other was sure to follow behind. We literally took up the entire row of seats we were sitting in.  
Then, getting all of us onto the plane and happily seated was a living nightmare. First, Karkat kept complaining about Gamzee elbowing him and leaving Sopor pie trays around. Then, Gamzee got upset because he wanted to sit next to his ‘Kar-bro’. But of course, Nepeta had already taken up Gamzee’s old seat at that point and was not going to let go of Karkat, despite the fact that he repeatedly told her in between a string of curses that he had a boyfriend who most definitely would not like it if Nepeta jumped him on the plane ride there.  
Which obviously led to Kurloz and Meulin failing to calm the three youngest of the group, Porrim excusing herself to the bathroom to reapply some makeup that’d smeared, Kankri blathering onto me about only hell-knew-what, and myself drowning everything out and attempting to fall asleep, seeing as we had to wake up at five ‘o clock in the morning to catch a seven ‘o clock flight.  
And just before I managed to drift into sweet, sweet slumber, the captain’s voice rang on the speakers, saying they were about to initiate lift-off, and to promptly turn all cell phones and other devices off until they were either safely in the air, or, with some electronics, had landed. And of course, everyone in the entire group besides Porrim, who was still fixing her makeup, and myself, seeing as I still hadn’t replaced the phone my dad took when he kicked me out, turned off their phones at the same time, causing the jingles of each and every single one of them to go off at once.  
Thank the Under realm, at some point after take-off I’d finally managed to get some shut-eye, only waking up when I felt someone elbowing my shoulder roughly. Looking to my left, I saw Kankri, who was in the outer seat seeing as the two of us were both in the middle section of the airplane’s seating arrangement, ranting on, and on, and on about ‘personal space and how he apologized deeply and hoped he didn’t trigger me in any way, shape, or form by waking me up’ and yada, yada, yada… (I really hope you just read that aloud in a high-pitched, nasally, know-it-all voice, because that’s exactly what he sounded like at that moment.)  
While he continued yapping his little, fucking head off, I took the opportunity to bring out my recently-purchased IPod from the front-left pocket of my leather jacket, untangling the headphones and plugging them firmly into my ears, allowing the sound of acoustic guitar solos to fill my head.  
Later, probably around noon in NYC, but hell if I knew what time it was on the plane, a female, airplane server came around offering us lunch.  
I am not even joking here; she was such a fucking whore. Completely ignoring the airline’s dress code, the server wore a tight, navy blue skirt that only went down to her upper-thighs, a form-fitting, pure white tank-top that left little to the imagination and just barely covered her belly button, a pair of bright, ruby red high heels that were probably not worth the trouble while on an airplane, and so much makeup that it probably made Porrim cry herself to sleep that night. Which was really saying something.  
But that’s not even the worst part. No, the worst part was when she started trying to flirt with me. She kept on continuously winking at me behind eye-shadow-and-mascara-bombed eyelids and lashes, and repeatedly bent down for no good reason, flashing her black, lace panties at the world.  
And all the while, Kankri was sending a glare her way that if I didn’t know better would’ve made me think she was the female form of the devil himself. Emphasis on ‘if I didn’t know better’ though. I mean, I was sitting right next to a spawn of Satan on a plane to go to the original fallen angel’s hate-wedding with a descendant of the boogieman. Still, I’d be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn’t glad to see her leave once she gave us our food already, proceeding to go attempt to get into some other hunk’s pants.  
The rest of the afternoon was then spent listening to music and building up a collection of empty, peanut bag wrappers all over the foldable tray attached to the airplane seat. Which obviously caused Kankri to nag at me for the rest of the afternoon about personal hygiene, keeping public places and surfaces clean, and other boring shit like that. Although I unfortunately knew there was only one way to get him to shut up, but if I did I knew there was no going back, and thus forth restrained myself.  
Once dinnertime came around, instead of the slutty server we had a girl who seemed very kind-hearted give us our food. Although she did seem to at least be distantly related to the other female server, this one was the total opposite, following the dress code strictly and acting more platonically towards passengers of both genders than flirty.  
I say they looked similar, because both girls had long, curly, fiery red hair of which was held up in a tight, Japanese-style bun by the flirty one, yet was down to the friendly server’s lower-back, deathly pale skin with slightly dark bags under their dark brown eyes, and an average yet healthy frame, weight, and height.  
After serving everyone else, the more friendly one came back to check on us, and Kankri and I ended up starting a conversation with her. As it turned out, her name was Aradia Megido, and the other server was her older sister, Damara. Apparently, neither of them worked full-time on airplanes; they just owed the airline a fuck-ton of money from their frequent trips to Japan to visit their relatives that lived there.  
I suppose I fell asleep that night at about midnight seeing as it’s nearly impossible to comfortably sleep on a fucking plane. I mean, the seats are uncomfortable, the jets are noisy, someone next to you always ends up invading your personal space, and not to mention of course the fact that it’s hard to fall asleep when THE GROUND IS LITERALLY MOVING FROM UNDERNEATH YOUR FEET.  
The next day, I woke up at about six ‘o clock in the morning to Kankri talking in his sleep.  
“Ohhhh~” It took me a while, but after about five minutes of listening in on his dream I concluded that the damn incubus was, in fact, having a dream about sex, and would probably have a severe boner in the morning that he would just have to convince me to help him with in the airplane bathroom and just have to my ass.  
“Mmmm, Cronus~”  
Shit, he was dreaming about me. That would just make him even more willing to use his obnoxious-as-fuck incubus powers on me to persuade me into giving him a blow or hand-job in the airplane bathroom! Hell, he could even convince Kurloz to give him some Sopor Slime so as to drug me, seeing as the older Makara and Meulin sat in the section of seats right next to Kankri!  
“Cronus, yes, right there~” The literal devil spawn suddenly gasped out quietly, bucking his hips up in his sleep.  
Not wanting to deal with a horny incubus just yet, I then pulled out my IPod once more, falling asleep yet again to the sounds of Green Day and Broadway musical soundtracks that took place in the 1950’s. (Such as Grease.)  
Later that morning, I was once again woken up to Kankri repeatedly poking my shoulder.  
“Kanny, vwhat the fuck do you vwant from me?” I slurred in my still half-asleep state of mind.  
“Cronus, I’m hungry and require some assistance.” Of course it was that. Why the hell did I expect it to be anything other than that?  
“Oh my god no, I just wvoke up.” I said quickly, not wanting to have sex in a shitty airplane bathroom while on my way to a weird-as-fuck hate-wedding.  
“Cronus…” Kankri glared, his eyes taking on a demonic glow that reminded me of who exactly this was.  
This was Kankri Vantas, the original incubus, and eldest son of Lucifer, the fallen, himself, and if I didn’t give him at the very least a hand-job then so help him he was going to literally murder me as horribly, slowly, painfully, and just plain terrifyingly as he possibly could and dance on my grave.  
So, Kankri and I got up, went into the airplane bathroom, and I spent the next half-hour giving the sex demon a blow job so his cum wouldn’t fuck up the bathroom, a huge-ass wad of toilet paper shoved into his mouth so as to muffle his moans, pleads, and gasps of pleasure.  
As soon as we got out of the bathroom and were seated once more, Aradia came to bring us our breakfast, giving the two of us a knowing wink before leaving to serve the others, promptly causing Kankri’s cheeks to turn bright, cherry red, as he begun nervously rambling on about how inappropriate and generally unprofessional it was of Aradia to assume we were performing intercourse or any such actions in the airplane bathroom when Kankri was clearly a ‘celibate’. I swear, if that guy was in a debate competition, he would mop the floor with all-who-dare-challenge-the-all-mighty-and-powerful-blabber-mouth.  
The rest of the day went on filled with the average craziness of our group, involving a scheme with the Makaras trying to drug everyone on board, Nepeta attempting to kiss Karkat only resulting in him almost punching her if it weren’t for Gamzee, who sat directly in front of him, and Porrim and Kankri arguing like a pair of crazed, fucked up siblings that really acted more like a mother and her stubborn, four-year-old son. At four ‘o clock that evening, I literally ran out the exit of the plane, grabbed my shit, then spent roughly ten minutes yelling at everyone else to hurry the fuck up so we could get to the hotel already.  
So, there we were, at four-thirty on the dot, standing in the lobby of a hotel only a few minutes away from the stairway to hell itself, waiting for the bumbling idiot standing behind the desk to give us our fucking room keys already.  
To make the cost less pricey, all of us had decided to share rooms, the pairs splitting into Kurloz and Meulin, Karkat and Gamzee, Porrim and Nepeta, and Kankri and myself. As soon as the man finally handed me the key to our room, I immediately ran upstairs to the hotel room, dragging my suitcase along with me because they didn’t have elevators for whatever reason, Kankri trailing behind. Shortly afterwards, Kankri and I were all set up in our temporary room, myself flopping onto the bed we would have to share and sighing heavily.  
“Cronus?” Kankri’s voice, now small and meek, interrupted what would have been my beauty sleep.  
“Yeah, chief?” I replied, looking at him from my place laying down on the left side of the bed like we normally slept back at our apartment in NYC.  
“I’ve been really hungry lately.”  
“Seriously? You just fed this morning.”  
“Like I said, I’ve been really hungry lately…” Kankri’s bright red eyes looked to the floor, his head drooping slightly. “I don’t understand what’s happening; nothing like this has occurred before.”  
“Sorry, but I don’t knowv either.”  
“Yes I know, but I just wanted to at least tell someone. It’s really freaking me out, but hopefully my father will know a solution to this.”  
“Vwell still, you should stop wvorrying so much; vwe’ll havwe you checked out tomorrowv, but for nowv let’s sleep, alright?” I smiled at the incubus slightly as he climbed into the bed next to me, cuddling into my side like a cute, little kitten.  
“Vwell, vwell, vwell, it’s looks like I’wve got myself a cute, little Kankitten.” I grinned like a shark, wrapping my right arm around Kankri’s waist to hold him closer to me, causing him to blush vividly and begin sputtering incoherent rants probably having something to do with personal space and that his name’s Kankri not ‘Kankitten’.  
However, I just tuned out all of it, focusing on the adorable nineteen-year-old next to me and how right he felt in my arms. And that was how we fell asleep, Kankri using my chest as a pillow, his arms hugged around my waist, myself holding him to me tightly, my head resting on top of his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, nope, this is the shortest chapter so far but don't hate me it's literally 5:15 am where I am & I haven't fallen asleep yet & I'm fucking tierd as all hell. =(


	5. One Big, Happy, Dysfunctional Family Reunin & Kitty Cries In A Corner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING LATE NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-  
> Anyways, as an apology we have here the longest chapter yet! =D  
> Enjoy! =3

“Cronus, wake up.”  
I jolted awake at the cold, icy feel of nearly-frozen water being dumped upon me.  
“Kankri, vwhat the actual fuck vwas that for?!” I yelped, falling onto the beige, carpeted floor.  
“That was for trying to sleep in when we have to climb down all fifty stairs to hell today.” Said tight-ass answered, placing the iron bucket he’d put the ice-water in on the gold-colored, now-soaked comforter of the bed.  
“Shit, but nowv vwe’ll probably havwe to pay extra for the ruined blankets, and floor, and shit.” I frowned at him.  
“Oh well, not my problem.” Kankri shrugged, the bright red, folded several times over, due to his short stature, neck of his sweater scrunching for a brief moment as his shoulders moved up and down.  
“Kankri, vwhat has gotten into you today?” I stared incredulously at my roommate, mouth gaping open at the fact that for the first time since I’ve known him, Kankri didn’t give two shits about ‘triggering’ anyone from his some-what vandalism.  
“Cronus, do you understand where we are right now?”  
“Yeah, vwe’re like a block awvay from hell so vwe can go to your dad’s hate-vwedding.”  
“Exactly, we are literally in the heart of the dark influence, so therefore it’s only expected that I act a little more unruly than usual when we’re right above hell.” He rolled his eyes at me as if I was the one speaking nonsense and acting completely out of character.  
“Oh, um, okay then… ?”  
“Stop stuttering; it makes you sound like an idiot.” Kankri turned his back, making his way to the door. “I’ll be in the lobby; the others called up earlier while you were asleep and we’ve decided to meet downstairs, eat breakfast nearby, and then go to hell.”  
“Okay, chief.”  
The incubus paused, the door open just a crack, and tossed behind his shoulder, “And for the last time, my name’s Kankri.” Before exiting room, closing the door shut, leaving me alone to ponder what the ever-loving fuck just happened?  
“Vwell! Suppose I should get changed.” I thought aloud, stretching my arms above my head then rising from the wet floor.  
Within roughly ten minutes or so, I’d quickly changed into a pair of black pants, black shoes, a white t-shirt, and my black leather jacket, my pitch black hair greased back 50’s greaser-style, and my slightly-sharp smile charming as ever. Finally getting hungry for breakfast (Vampires can most definitely eat people food; it’s just not as satisfying as the blood of a living thing), I grabbed the key to the room, locking the door behind me as I stepped out into the hallway, shoving the metal key into the front-left pocket of my jacket, along with my IPod. I then took the stairs two at a time, landing safely at the bottom to find the others in the lobby just as promised, taking up the entire in-lobby seating area besides one seat, right next to Kankri, of which I sat myself in, folding on leg over the other.  
“About time you woke up, Cronus.” Porrim said from the red seat on Kankri’s other side.  
“Yeah, by the vway, Kankri, about that-“  
“If this about the manner in which I awoke you, I would greatly appreciate it if you would refrain from bringing it up, since it was completely necessary on my part to do what I did.” Referred incubus interrupted me, standing before saying, “Alright, now that everyone’s here, shall we get going?”  
The eight of us stood, walking out the door lazily, eventually deciding on a small pastry shop nearby. (Although of course not until we all got into an incredibly heated argument, each of us wanting something else, but in the end, we failed to resist the temptation to each chocolate cake for breakfast.) After gorging ourselves on European desserts at nine o’ clock in the morning, our cluster-fuck of a group left the shop, walking all but a few blocks away. We past old, beautiful, architectural masterpieces sculpted into the buildings themselves, gorgeous, ancient, roman statues, before finally coming to… an abandoned alleyway.  
“Kankri, vwhy the fuck are vwe-“  
“Cronus, shut up.” I scowled at the devil spawn, an ‘are-you-fucking-kidding-me’ look plastered onto my face.  
Karkat then approached the brick wall that was the very back of the alleyway, saying in what sounded like fluent Latin, “Pande; quidam suus est Karkat et non placet.”  
At Karkat’s word, the bricks shuffled around of their own accord (Sort of like in that wizard movie I saw with Eridan once… Harry Potter, was it?) until the wall now outlined the top of a steep, dark staircase, of which was lit only by medieval fashioned torches attached to the walls. As our group began to descend the staircase to hell, we automatically changed into our true forms.  
In order, with Karkat in his corrupted daemon form leading, Gamzee’s skin turned the same gray as the youngest Vantas’, his eyes a milky white in the entirety, his pure white, clown face paint all the more prevalent against the monochromatic hue; Kurloz underwent the same transformation, the only difference being that his face paint was instead dedicated to skeletons (Huh, I guess that explains Gamzee referring to him as his ‘skeleton bro’); Meulin grew dark brown cat ears and tail to match her hair, eyes brightened to an electric shade of olive green, pupils dilated into slits, and canines became deadly sharp; Nepeta changed exactly as her older sister did; Porrim’s deathly pale skin and long, voluminous, midnight black hair took on a jade green gleam, her matching eyes turning multiple shades brighter, tattoos became a much darker variation of black, and her top canines sharpened just as much as my own; Kankri became his incubus form, and I my vampire form.  
The eight of us continued down the stairs, hitting the bottom about twenty-five minutes later. At said bottom of the staircase was a near-exact replica of stereotypical hell, the ground being a dark red and incredibly cracked rock, the so-called ‘sky’ a pitch black, what with the entire place being underground, the main light being various flames all over the place and the fiery light of which emanated from the cracks in the ground.  
As our group went deeper into hell, we came across a large city of which seemed to still be stuck in the ancient Roman empire, all houses and buildings being of carefully cut and designed, pitch black marble; intricate columns rose multiple balconies and terraces; portraits of half-naked men and women were carved into the walls themselves, yet everyone we passed (most were either incubi, succubi, or corrupted daemons, but about forty-something percent of them were from the Water or Middle realms) wore normal, modern-day clothing.  
At some point, we eventually came to the very heart of the Under realm, a gigantic, tall and skinny, pitch black, marble palace looming above us, phoenixes flying past the tallest, center-most tower, cawing ominously. We entered, the pitch black, wrought-iron front gate opening eerily of its own accord. Inside was a medium-sized, tall-ceilinged, pitch black room. On the floor was a bright, cherry red carpet, and in the center-back of the room was a pitch black desk all too similar to that of my father’s secretary, to either sides of which being a dark gray door, a bright blue door knob on the door to the left, a bright red door knob on the door to the right.  
Sitting at the desk was what looked to be a corrupted daemon, his short hair pitch black and messy, skin the same dark gray as Karkat’s, mirroring fangs, the top canines being longer than the, still long, center-most top teeth, slipped out from behind his lips, and eyes hidden behind a pair of goggles identical to Cyclops’ from the X men, but the trim was a bright, golden yellow, and the right half of the lens was bright, cherry red, while the left was a deep, pure blue. From what I could see of his top half, the man wore a pitch black, unbuttoned suit jacket, a yellow dress shirt underneath. The name plaque before him read ‘MIKINO CAPTOR: CORRUPTED SECRETARY’.  
“Welcome to hell; what do you want?” He asked, looking down at the dark gray, desktop computer upon his desk, directly behind the plaque, of which was on a raised counter of the desk.  
“Mikino, why the actual fuck are you hacking the security system this time?” Karkat asked, standing in front of the counter, a sharp frown set firmly upon his face.  
Only then did Mikino look up at the cluster-fuck of a group of people. “Oh, hey Karkat. Did you get Kankri?”  
“Yeah, but he only agreed to come if every imbecilic teen on the planet could come too.” Karkat gave an exasperated sigh before continuing, “And I believe you still haven’t answered my fucking question.”  
“I got bored.” The secretary smirked impishly, slightly baring his dual-themed fangs.  
“Bored. Of course you got fucking bored.” The younger, corrupted daemon face-palmed with both hands.  
“If you want to find the otherth, and I’m athuming you do, they’re in the courtyard to your left.” Wow, did not see that lisp coming.  
“Alright, thanks.” Karkat groaned, walking to the door with the red door knob and opening it.  
True to the secretary’s word, outside was a beautiful courtyard. It really wasn’t all that big, an entirely octagonal shape, the floor, columns, and walls beneath the balconies built as an outline around the courtyard so as to create a form of shade all made of a light gray stone. All about the courtyard’s outer walls were eleven pitch black doors besides the one of which we’d entered through, each door knob a different color of the light spectrum, in order, going clockwise, the bright red door knob being the twelve if the door knobs were a clock. It went bright red, crimson, orange, gold, olive, jade, teal, cerulean, blue, indigo, violet, and fuchsia.  
In the very center of the courtyard was a pure white, marble, octagonal fountain, an ancient Roman-style statue of a stereotypical, male angel with medium-sized, intricately sculpted, bird wings spread to its full span, the angel standing atop a teal, ruby-eyed, yet the red not as bright as that of Karkat’s or Kankri’s, gemstone snake, pinning it down, onto the pure white pedestal of which the two stood, his left fist and face raised to the heavens in defiance, right hand hanging loosely at his side, crystal clear, cerulean-tinted water pouring gently from the snake’s agape-in-pain mouth.  
On the outskirts of the courtyard, yet before the shaded pathways, was an octagonal train of flower boxes, the row only pausing before the place of which people entered and exited the section of the palace, the light gray, stone, rectangular pots filled to the brim with ivy, light red and pink flowers, roses of all colors, and every once and a while a small hedge or two. On the other side of the courtyard was a circular, pure white, stone table, four smooth-edged, ebony chairs cushioned with attached, bright red pillows, three people visibly sitting there from across the fountain, idle chit-chat audible from where we stood.  
Then, one of them stood, looked in our direction, and came sprinting around the fountain.  
“Karkat!” He called, his voice childish, slightly high-pitched, and sounding very much like that of a jokester.  
“John.” Despite the fact that his mouth remained slightly agape instead of smiling, said corrupted daemon’s face lit up, his bright red and pitch black eyes widening, and he ran towards the boy in return.  
They met in the center, perfectly between the two sides of the courtyard, hugging, the other boy’s, who I know knew as John’s, arms wrapped tightly around Karkat’s neck, the youngest Vantas’ own securely around his waist.  
Completely ruining the moment, everyone in the room, myself included, said ‘Aww’ very obnoxiously and loudly at the same time, causing the them to pull away, blushing, yet arms still wrapped slightly around each other.  
“About time you got back.” A voice that sounded only but fifteen years of age said mischievously, the sound all too similar to a cat purring, smooth as silk, yet still smirking, impish, even.  
“Yeah, but Kankri only agreed to come under the terms that everyone we know came too.” Karkat answered the voice, facing the direction of the table, left arm wound about John’s waist.  
“That sounds about right.” The unseen person chuckled, his voice surprisingly pleasant. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I would greatly appreciate a moment alone with Kankri.”  
“Come on, Karkat, I want to show you something reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaally cooooooooooooooool I found!” John whined, dragging Karkat by the wrist in the direction of the cerulean door.  
After that, Kurloz and Gamzee went through the indigo door, Nepeta and Meulin the olive door, Kanaya and Porrim the jade door, and I was about to follow behind the latter pair before I felt a strong grip on my right forearm. Looking over I saw Kankri holding me firmly by the arm, refusing to let go, glaring intently at one of the figures behind the fountain.  
“I’m not stupid enough to deal with you alone… father.” Kankri growled, his lip rising upwards in a ferocious snarl.  
“Oh, come now. Why don’t we discuss this over some tea?”  
“Alright, fine.” The incubus relented, dragging me over to the table with him.  
Sitting at the table were two men, clearly Gramfr Makara and Kankri and Karkat’s dad. The first one I noticed was sitting right across from where Kankri and I were currently standing, but no, that wasn’t the reason I saw him first. The reason was that he was literally the tallest person I’d ever seen in my entire life. He was seven feet tall easily, and was built like a rock; his body was large, and his muscles strong. He had a mane of pitch black hair, and when I say mane, I mean literally mane. His hair was plentiful, and went down all the way to his lower back, all of it somehow pushed so as not to be in his face whatsoever. His eyes were pure, milky white, just like that of Kurloz and Gamzee’s when in their true forms, skin was the same dark gray as the Makaras’, yet his face paint was instead tiki-themed, rough, pure white, face-painted spikes around his eyes, and mouth replacing the normally delicate curves and lines seen on Kurloz and Gamzee’s faces.  
Managing to muffle the gulp of saliva dropping down my throat, I looked to the other man at the table. He looked like a devious, fifteen year old version of Karkat, his skin and hair the same pure white as Karkat’s human form, and eyes just as red as either Vantas’. However, instead of Kankri’s small, pitch black bat wings, or Karkat’s dark, corrupted energy, the man had a pair of large angel wings protruding from his upper back, each one bearing long, soft-looking, delicately-made, coal-colored feathers. He was built well, lean yet clearly strong muscles making up his arms, legs, and torso. From his charismatic, but most definitely clever, smirk I could make out that all of his teeth were sharp, usable in a fight, but still sleek and shiny. There was no doubt about it; I was in the presence of a descendant of the boogieman, the devil himself, the Lucifer’s eldest son, the original incubus, and I was about to drink tea with them just to give the incubus a backbone.  
Just as assumed, strewn about the table were four pitch black cups, two of them holding tea, the other two empty, a pitch black tea kettle, four small, matching plates, two holding a slice of black forest cake each, the other two clean, four pitch black forks, one per plate, and mentioned cake in the center of the table, two slices previously cut from it, a pitch black, gemstone knife set to the side on a fifth plate so as not to get cake on the table.  
“Go on, sit.” The fallen angel smiled at Kankri, gesturing to the two open seats; the one next to Gramfr faced the fountain and Kankri’s dad, while the other, right next to said Satan, faced the boogieman descendant and right side of the courtyard.  
Obviously, Kankri seated himself next to his father, dragging me down to sit in the remaining chair. The incubus then lifted the tea kettle, attempting to keep a calm demeanor, and began pouring the tea into his cup. At three-quarters-full, he stopped, passing the container to me. Soon afterwards, Kankri and I both had a cup of chai tea and a slice of black forest cake, myself already nibbling my slice while Kankri sipped on his tea.  
“Now, may we please discuss our argument?” Kankri’s dad asked, glancing at his son behind his cup of tea.  
“There is nothing to discuss.” Said incubus glanced the fallen as well, the two of them each attempting to stare the other down and prove their authority. “Besides, have you no class? It is exceedingly rude to speak business before everyone at the table is acquainted with one another.”  
“Ah, yes, I seem to have forgotten; it has been quite some time since we last had a new face at the table to acquaint with.” He smirked, eyes flashing menacingly towards me, causing me to pause, my fork held into my mouth from biting the piece of cake I’d used the fork to pick up, and notice everyone at the table now staring at me.  
I finished chewing the bite of cake, placing my fork onto my plate as silently as possible before introducing myself, “Cronus, vampire, Kankri’s roommate, and a friend of Kurloz and Gamzee’s.”  
“Oh? And do you have a last name, Cronus?” The fallen angel smirked coolly but evilly, resting his head upon his hand, focusing his entire undivided attention upon me.  
“Father, stop badgering him; if he doesn’t want to be judged upon his family, then that’s his decision to make, not yours. I did the same while in the middle realm.” Kankri came to my rescue.  
“Alright, then I suppose it’s my turn?” He lifted his head from its place, his going to the side, and his ruby red eyes closing temporarily before opening once more. “I am Kethan Vantas, fallen angel, demonic representative to fallen angels, original fallen, founder of the Under realm, and Kankri and Karkat’s father.”  
“Gramfr Makara.” The gigantic male next to me said, his voice gruff and deep.  
“And I am certain you all know who I am, so we may now discuss our previous disagreement.” The incubus announced, setting his tea cup upon the table.  
“Of course.” Kethan gave a sinister, close-eyed smile, setting his cup down as well. Following the others’ lead, Gramfr placed his cup on the table, myself just sitting there seeing as I wasn’t holding my tea cup. “Because you were probably the one most hurt in our difference of morals, you may speak your mind first, Kankri.”  
“Yes.” Kankri glared at his father, beginning to speak. “Kicking me out was wrong. There, I said it. I could go on for days about how you were being a hypocritical asshole by banishing me for the exact same reason you were cast out from heaven, but I’m not going to do that, because I. Give. Up.”  
“I agree whole-heartedly.” Kethan opened his eyes, smiling a genuine, caring smile at his son. “After the first two years, I realized my mistake, and I no longer condemn you if forgiveness is not mine to be had.”  
Kankri’s eyes widened a little, hurt and anger melting away into love and care, as he and his father stood, embracing each other in a hug.  
And of course, Gramfr and I ruined the moment by saying ‘Aww’ very obnoxiously and loudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING LATE I AM SO SORRY I SWEAR I WILL GET ON IT EVEN THOUGH SCHOOL STARTS NEXT WEEK BUT I PROMISE I'LL WRITE AT LIKE DEATH 'O CLOCK IN THE MORNING & I'LL AT THE VERY LEAST UPDATE ONCE A WEEK FROM NOW ON!!!! DX


	6. HEY! LISTEN!

HEY GUYS! LISTEN! I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY!

Lately I've been thinking about potentially re-writing this. However, by 'potentially,' I truly mean 'potentially.' I very well might abandon this concept altogether.

However, if I do post a re-write, please keep in mind there will be many, many changes. And by that I mean I'm changing the roles of various characters, at least one of the ships I'd originally canonized in the AU, and basically all of the plot. Some elements will be kept the same, but not many by comparison. I've basically re-worked the whole universe for the sake of this re-write I might not even finish. Appreciate this. Please.

**Author's Note:**

> This may or may not become an actual story but if it does, can someone Please give me a title suggestion? I honestly can't think of one. X3  
> Also, my inspiration for writing this in the first place was the following link so shout out to the owner of the pic for being amazing and making a picture I literally said 'I see nothing wrong with this' to. =3  
> http://mcsiggy.tumblr.com/post/66770135229/so-friends-and-i-were-talking-about-vampire-aus


End file.
